I’m starting to think that if the love doesn’t destroy me, then it isn’t worth it. I wish I didn’t have to behave so dramatically. I’m after emotions that aren’t as rich or passionate in the real world. What I want isn’t intune with reality so I tell myself to settle for the dullness because I’m sick and tired of being told I’m “whimsical”. How insulting it is! If I’m destined to swing between two extremes, then I want the crashing burning hurtful love I’m only bound to find. I no longer care for the normal. I need something that is more profound than I can come up with on my own.

It would be too dangerous, darling. We would overwhelm each other. We are too alike in the sense that we are too catastrophic. I would destroy you and you would destroy me. Maybe that’s why I needed you so badly.